The Reverend Tony™

70 is the new 30™

The Reverend Tony Main

Scam of the Week™

February 12, 2021 ATX™

World Tour Gung! Hay! Fat! Choy! Exit year of Rat and enter year of Ox with Valentine’s Day Sunday.

Joke of the Week™ He gets down on one knee and says, ”Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something . . . I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, and I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you." . . . click here for Joke of the Week™.

Hello Austin, Goodbye ATX™ welcome back Dudley and Bob to morning show on KLBJ-FM, 93.7 on your radio dial.

Football Congrats to Sooners produce six graduate transfers and two graduate transfers for Mighty Mighty Horns.

Fútbol Arsenal gave up another stupid goal in the second minute at Aston Villa 1-0 and lose Partey to another hamstring; Sunday brunch with Leeds from 1030 at Emirates and NBCSN; Thursday to Rome for Benfica in Europa on neutral ground because of COVID.

Password tonight is “sashay”.

Polyticks™ Second impeachment trial of former president Donald John Trump ends with acquittal. Consider Bill Clinton’s apology after acquittal at his impeachment trial.  TRT makes over/under for DJT apology at way under so far under that he comes out the other side.

Light, sweet crudesettled up 4.3% at $58.68, natural gas is down 0.8% at $2.935. €uro is up 1.3% at $1.2129.

0 dead this weekin Iraq Iran War Without End, Amen™ = 22 for 2020.
Peace and love and margaritas at Matt’s El Rancho, I remain The Reverend Tony™.
©2021, The Reverend Tony™

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2014 Year to Date

November 21, 2014 - NuPosCoon™

November 14, 2014 - A chicken and an egg

November 7, 2014 - Wurstfest, FunFunFun Fest and CherFest under a full moon

October 31, 2014 - Election of Dufuses

October 24, 2014 - Brian and The Boz

October 17, 2014 - Obamabola™

October 10, 2014 - Harley Ray Clark, Jr., RIP

October 3, 2014 - Austin City Limits™ Music Festival.

September 26, 2014 - JOW Aggie dies and goes to Heaven

September 19, 2014 - Happy Birthday to Mother and 90 more!!!

September 12, 2014 - JOW Obama dies and goes to Hell

September 5, 2014 - Cher

August 29, 2014 - Willie's card trick

August 22, 2014 - Happy Birthday Hazel and Faye

August 15, 2014 - RIP James Gardner, Robin Williams, Lauren Bacall

August 8, 2014 - Richard M Nixon resigned as President 40 years ago today.

August 1, 2014 - War to end all Wars (Part One) begins 100 years ago today

July 25, 2014 - Project Connect political advertising

July 18, 2014 - Property Tax protest

July 11, 2014 - Roky Erickson and Shiva's Headband.

July 4, 2014 - Happy Birthday to US!!!!!!

June 27, 2014 - The Chosen Few™

June 20, 2014 - Can Squatty Potty™ dethrone Cherubum™?

June 13, 2014 - Field Card and Evidence Packet

June 6, 2014 - The Drought™

May 30, 2014 - XGames invades

May 23, 2014 - Caxirola

May 16, 2014 - Flood-control structure too high?

May 9, 2014 - Free at last, free at last, Bernie Tiede is free at last having been released to the custody of RIchard Linklater

May 2, 2014 - vision framework

April 25, 2014 - The Two Commandments

April 18, 2014 - One Minute Yogish™

April 11, 2014 - Water, Water, No Where

April 4, 2014 - Noah

March 28, 2014 - Hedwig and the Angry Inch

March 21, 2014 - Spring is in the Aries

March 14, 2014 - Little League

March 7, 2014 - Alright, Alright, Alright as Matthew McConaughey takes Oscar©.

February 28, 2014 - Geaux McConaughey Geaux!!!

February 21, 2014 - Fight Obama

February 14, 2014 - The Winter Olympics are held so that white people can win at sports that no one else can afford to learn.

February 7, 2014 - 50 years ago today, oh boy, The Beatles hit the stage and the World went crazy

January 31, 2014 - GONG XI FA CHAI ! ! ! A blonde bought two horses

January 24, 2014 - Walk a day in my shoes

January 17, 2014 - Stronghorns, oops

January 10, 2014 - Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney in Paris?

January 3, 2014 - MacGregor the Old Scot

2013 Year to Date

December 27, 2013 - Sell UPS early and often

December 20, 2013 - Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

December 13, 2013 - A reindeer walks into a bar . . .

December 6, 2013 - RIP Nelson Madiba Mandela, sunrise July 18, 1918, sunset December  5, 2013.

November 29, 2013 - A man buys a parrot . . .

November 22, 2013 - 50 years ago today

November 15, 2013 - Ruby Red 75™, Poodle Dog Lounge closes

November 8, 2013 - Texas Flood

November 1, 2013 - RIP Lou Reed sunrise March 2, 1942, sunset October 27, 2013

October 25, 2013 - Vote NO!!!

October 18, 2013 - Word to Ted Cruz - Be an American not an American't

October 11, 2013 - Oklahoma wine, Thursday is a lovely vintage

October 4, 2013 - High School Reunion with fried onion burgers

September 27, 2013 - Jim Swift

September 20, 2013 - At the Broken Spoke you dance with everyone except who brung you

September 13, 2013 - What does fox say?

September 6, 2013 - The Wild, The Innocent and The E Street Shuffle released 40 years ago today

August 30, 2013 - Football begins

August 23, 2013 - Happy Birthday to Hazel and Faye and happy 40th anniversary to me

August 16, 2013 - Fútbol begins

August 9, 2013 - Football on your phone

August 2, 2013 - Hazel points a lizard

July 26, 2013 - Faye in a box over Obambicare

July 19, 2013 - Mega Python v Gatoroid

July 12, 2013 - Mega Hair Perry will not be governor of Texas

July 5, 2013 - Happy 237th birthday to US

June 28, 2013 - Wendy Davis could be Governor of Texas

June 21, 2013 - Cherubum

June 14, 2013 - AARP swimsuit issue

June 7, 2013 - RIP Janie Martinez

May 31, 2013 - Off-Road Commode

May 24, 2013 - More laws = More Government

May 17, 2013 - Chief Innovation Officer

May 10, 2013 - Happy Mother's Day

May 3, 2013 - Happy 80th Birthday to Willie

April 26, 2013 - College Football Payoff

April 19, 2013 - The Case of the Broken Spoke bus

April 12, 2013 - RIP Annette Joanne Funicello, sunrise October 22, 1942, sunset April 8, 2013

April 5, 2013 - RIP Roger Joseph Ebert sunrise June 18, 1942, sunset April 4, 2013.

March 29, 2013 - Why do Easter bunnies hide their eggs?

March 22, 2013 - George P Bush should be Land Commissioner of Texas. The Land Commissioner of Texas should be George P Bush.

March 15, 2013 - Mighty, mighty Horns to run Numbered Break?

March 8, 2013 - UIL Boys Basketball All Name Team

March 1, 2013 - The Reverend Tony™ shall not seek and will not accept nomination as Pope Ringo George

February 22, 2013 - If Willie can, he will be the mascot of 2024 Olympics in Austin

February 15, 2013 - Bacon Roses

February 8, 2013 - GONG XI FA CHAI ! ! !

February 1, 2013 - The Broken Spoke now has FREE valet parking.

January 25, 2013 - CheatStrong™ edges LiveCheat™ 106 - 93 with a few write-ins for LieStrong™.

January 18, 2013 - CheatStrong or LiveCheat?

January 11, 2013 - Oscars®, what no Bernie?

January 4, 2013 - Blizzard 2013


2012 Year to Date

December 28, 2012 - The Reverend Tony™ visits Crawford, Texas as World does not end yet

December 21, 2012 - End of the World?

December 14, 2012 - End of the World two for one special on PlaciBox™, the Magenta pill, It Cures Everything!!!

December 7, 2012 - Take Five

November 30, 2012 - Sooner Gift Guide

November 23, 2012 - NuPosCoon™ sold out!!! Free hickory smoked, honey glazed, spiral-sliced squirrel with next order!

November 16, 2012 - Formula Une to be drug tested?

November 9, 2012 - Gabriel has blown his horn for Darrell K Royal, sunrise July 6, 1924, sunset November 7, 2012

November 2, 2012 - Vote early and vote often.

October 26, 2012 - The Lance Armstrong Bikeway needs to be renamed real soon.

October 19, 2012 - Sun Hing say "What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about?"

October 12, 2012 - Separated at birth?

October 5, 2012 - Presidential Debait Drinking Game

September 28, 2012 - Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. . . .  click here for the Joke of the Week™

September 21, 2012 - Happy birthday to Bill Murray who vests Social Security today

September 14, 2012 - Broken Spoke to be restored to original roadhouse

September 7, 2012 - A golfer and the frog

August 31, 2012 - Finally Football

August 24, 2012 - Bernie releases

August 17, 2012 - Lourdes Chacon

August 10, 2012 - You won't go to jail

August 3, 2012 - Lawyer Dance

July 27, 2012 - Romney to choose Dolly Parton as running mate, campaign slogan to be “Mitt and Tits”

July 20, 2012 - Elvis Meets Nixon

July 13, 2012 - Penn State football to get Death Penalty by Bonga

July 6, 2012 - RIP Andy Griffith, sunrise June 1, 1926, sunset July 3, 2012.

June 29, 2012 - The Endless Summer

June 22, 2012 - "and the grasshopper according to its kind."

June 15, 2012 - Bakaboza for President

June 8, 2012 - EURO 2012 kicks off

June 1, 2012 - “What would you do if I won the lottery?” a wife asked her husband.

May 25, 2012 -  Grand Prix of Monaco or Grand Prix of Austin

May 18, 2012 - The Last Dance for Donna Summer

May 11, 2012 - What gay marriage will not do

May 4, 2012 - Super Full Moon

April 27, 2012 - 3 Second Rule

April 20, 2012 - Trader Joe's to stock Magenta Slime™

April 13, 2012 - Aggie twins

April 6, 2012 - Magenta Slime™

March 30, 2012 - Little Johnny, Future Enterpriser

March 23, 2012 - TransCanada and the Keystone XL pipeline

March 16, 2012 - Texas Woman's Right to Know Act™

March 9, 2012 - RIP Albert "Leslie" Cochran

March 2, 2012 - RIP - David Thomas “Davy” Jones, sunrise December 30, 1945, sunset February 29, 2012.

February 24, 2012 - The Lent Brush™

February 17, 2012 - Website down

February 10, 2012 - Pekingese is 5-1 to win Westminster

February 3, 2012 - RIP Don Cornelius

January 27, 2012 - If I Were President

January 20, 2012 - GONG XI FA CHAI ! ! ! Exit the Rabbit, enter the Dragon

January 13, 2012 - Tim Tebow's Fire

January 6, 2012 -The offside rule explained, finally


Prior Year's Scams
2012

2011

2010

2009

2008

2007

2006

2005


Escape from the Storm™ 

September 2, 2005


Greetings,

     “Hurricanes aren’t too bad when one is trapped in New Orleans at the Royal Sonesta with room service. Now that is what I call a Reverend Tony disaster.”

     That was the lead I wrote last Saturday morning, sitting on the veranda of the Sonesta. But waiting for standby on the last flight out of New Orleans last Sunday before The Storm, it felt more like the Titanic. We had even dined Saturday night at Galatoires, the last meal they will serve for quite some time. 

     Click here for the rest of the story

This is sunrise on Sunday morning the day before The Storm blew in that Belmont took on their way back to Jackson.  Belmont said that the birds would fly in formation first one way and then the other, sounds freaky.

The Return™

New Orleans, March 2006

     Our first visit back since The Storm and also the first day back on the job for Malcom, the doorman/greeter at the Sonesta who returned to work the same day we checked in. Malcom helped us get the cab out of town back in that other lifetime.

     Malcom was evacuated to the Cajun Dome in Shreveport then wound up in Brookshire, Texas working at Jack in the Box and Dollar General Stores. The Royal Sonesta also sent him some money until he could find a way to move back. Malcom lost everything.

     Click here for the rest of the story.

The Reverend Tony™'s Vintage Videos

Abe Lemons

Marcus Dupree

Phi Slamma Jamma - Houston v Louisville, 1983 NCAA Semifinals


Scam of the Year™

    Please vote for the best Scam of the Week™ and the finalists are, click on each link to read about said Scam:

Daddy Wants To Be Your Santa, by Marvin Sease, 12-22-2006
Apocalypso™, 12-15-2006
Go Madonna™, 12-7-2006
NuPosCoon™, 11-24-2006
Sex Before Dinner, The Cocktail™, 9-8-2006
The Organ Donor™, 9-1-2006
The New Citizen™, 8-18-2006
60 IS THE NEW 30™, 7-21-2006
The OUrinal™, 6-9-2006
The Reverend Tony’s Summer School™, 6-2-2006
The Reverend Tony's Great Wall and BBQ™, 5-26-2006
The Candylicker's Ranch and Casino™, 4-21-2006
The Reverend Tony™'s Home Tattoo Parlor™, 5-17-2006
Save the Pet Cigarettes™, 3-3-2006
FleshLight™, 2-10-2006
Brokeback Mountain Too, Revenge of the Cooties™, 2-3-2006

    So Vote Early, Vote Often™,  Happy holidays to all and to all a good night.  The Reverend Tony™

Prior Scams from The Reverend Tony™

Download the entire 2005 Season Now!

Placibox™- It Cures Everything

Placibox™- How Does It Work?

Escape from The Storm™

VOTE for The Big God Head™

Austin IQ Test

Happy Horse Racing™

Big Bash in Baghdad™


The Story of the Reverend Tony™
Before a recent baptism

     The story of The Reverend Tony™ begins in the lobby of the Royal Sonesta in New Orleans where my Lady Claire and I were waiting for her sister Belmont to join us for Belmont's birthday dinner at the Chef's Table at Commander's Palace. 

     We were sitting on facing couches and I was wearing Raybans, a cream Hugo Boss blazer, electric lime green t-shirt, and khaki pants, drinking a martini in a go cup when a nice looking fraternity type in his late 20s comes up to me and says, (this is an exact quote)

     "Excuse me sir, but are you The Reverend Tony?"



     It was all I could do to not goof on the young man but I could not so I reply

     "No I'm not, but why do you ask?"

     He says (and this is another exact quote) "I'm supposed to meet The Reverend Tony here in the lobby, he's marrying me tomorrow night." Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so there you go.


A healing experience
More healing
     The Reverend Tony™ will rarely change the names of the guilty because sometimes the guilty deserve credit.

   PS - Will the real Reverend Tony please stand up? He is minister at the French Quarter Wedding Chapel in New Orleans on Burgundy.

Want to know more about the real Reverend Tony, just click on this link and enjoy

Reverend Tony Talavera


     Many of you have wondered if The Reverend Tony™ does indeed know Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, the Finance Minister of Nigeria.

     So here is a photo of Minister Ngozi and The Reverend Tony™ with Lady Claire in the midde which was Minister Ngozi's idea.

©2012 The Reverend Tony™